Listen to the Universe: A New Author’s Tale

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Autism: A Roadmap on Available Therapies


The writer J.R.R. Tolkien said, “Few can foresee whither their road will lead them, till they come to its end.”   Nearly eight million Americans have come to the end of a professional road since the Great Recession began in December 2007.  Ken Siri, a former health care analyst for an investment bank, is among them.  And yet, the end of that particular road led Ken to a life he never imagined, but believes was meant to be.  I believe that what happened to Ken was the universe pushing him to the path he was always supposed to follow.

I met Ken in 2002 while I, myself, was off on a professional wild goose chase.  I was working as a salesperson for a Wall Street broker dealer and Ken was one of my clients.  We hit it off and stayed friends after I moved on to corporate communications.

In 2004, Ken had this fantastic idea for a television show – it was “Sex and the City” from the man’s point of view and was based on the lives of Ken and his friends, divorced Wall Street thirty-somethings returning to the singles scene in Manhattan.  

The idea came to Ken after one of his friends tried a new pick-up line.  He would walk up to women and ask if they were wearing Jimmy Choo shoes.  The first few ladies he tried it on were flattered, but eventually, he tried it on a woman who turned and derisively asked, “Are you gay?”  That was the end of that line, but the beginning of tv show, The Exchange. 

I thought it was a brilliant idea and agreed to help turn Ken’s hilarious stories about dating into a tv pilot script.  Unfortunately, our efforts didn’t go anywhere, but Ken’s fantastic story-telling made me wonder what he was doing on Wall Street.

And apparently, it made the universe wonder, as well…

As often happens with inter-gender friendships, Ken and I drifted apart after I met my husband and lost touch for a couple of years.   But thanks to the genius of the networking site “Linked In,” we recently reconnected.  I was a bit surprised and absolutely thrilled to see under Ken’s name, the professional title “author.”  I emailed him immediately and asked him to get me caught up on his life.  Here’s what I learned:

In June 2008, Ken took full custody of his autistic son, Alex.  I’d met the angelic-looking boy one summer’s day on Fire Island and marveled at how well Ken managed.  It’s hard enough to be a single parent, but to be the single parent of a special needs child takes strength I admire beyond words.

Four months later, Ken was a victim of the Wall Street crash and lost his job, so he threw himself with passion into full-time parenting.  He fought to get the city of New York to pay for Alex to attend a top school for autistic children.  In the fall of 2009, he joined the school’s parent-teacher association.   

In November, just a few months after joining, Ken was, in his words, “shooting my mouth off” at a meeting.  He said, and I quote, “Autism sucks.  I’m going to write a book about it.”  And to his surprise, the man next to him said, “I’m a book publisher,” and like that, he had a two-book publishing deal.  Six months later, Cutting Edge Therapies for Autism was on the shelves and 1001 Tips For The Parents of Autistic Boys is due out in the fall.

How’s that for the universe giving you a shove?  No one can say it’s been “easy” for Ken; losing a job never is.  Nor is being a full-time single parent.  Nor is having an autistic child.  But now Ken is doing what he probably always should have been doing, and that, in itself, makes life fulfilling.

I asked Ken how he feels about this dramatic shift in career – what it means to him to be an author rather than a banker.  Here’s what he said:

Well, becoming an author has been a fulfilling and worthwhile endeavor.  Being a banker, or in my case an analyst, made me feel... vacant.  Am I meant to be a writer?  I think circumstances have led me, finally, to what my true strengths are.  So yes, I feel that now I have finally arrived at what I should have been doing all along. 

I could go on about my better subjects in high school (English lit, history) versus my weak spots (math), and how I tend to attack weaknesses (focused on a math-oriented career to become better at it – akin to learning to dance the meringue) but don’t want to bore you.  Suffice it to say that one should follow passion over money and hopefully the money will take care of itself. 

Of note, it is the writing I love, but also the advocating/autism work (I became PTA president in January and Rebecca Association for Autism board member).  They both fit my life now.  That said, I never would have guessed that I would be any sort of advocate, but I have to say it is its own reward.  Corny?  Maybe sounds that way, but its true! 

Ken isn’t the only person I know who intentionally pursued a career in a field for which they did not possess a natural aptitude in order to challenge or “better” themselves.  This is more common than we might imagine.  Some people do it to prove to something to themselves.  Some do it because they are more focused on a particular outcome (money) than on their own sense of daily satisfaction.  Or they do it because they want to see themselves in a particular light (as a doctor or lawyer, for example).  But maybe what we ought to be doing is searching ourselves for what comes easily, what we are good at, what we enjoy – and if we do that, then not only the money (as Ken says) but our own happiness should take care of itself.

I need to add this bit because it amazed me so.  When I say that we should do what comes naturally to us, that doesn’t necessarily mean it is “easy” to do.  Anything worth doing will require of us dedication, discipline, effort and the sometimes terrifying risk of failure.  But the rewards... oh the rewards...

I asked Ken how he managed to write a book in a few months while still caring for Alex by himself.  His answer should motivate anyone in a “if he can do what he’s doing, surely I can try too” kind of way: 

Scheduling is tough indeed, but I was always very organized and disciplined.  So starting from that point, I just constantly refined my schedule.  My personal philosophy is kaizen.  For those unfamiliar, it is the Japanese art of perfection, most notably and successfully adopted by Toyota to become the world’s number one auto maker!  Until recently.  Basically I make constant and never-ending improvements to anything I do, scheduling for example.

Here is a typical day during the week (now as writer):

·         Up at 6:30am, give Alex supplements, make him gluten/casein-free breakfast, prepare his lunch and backpack.

·         7am, Alex gets bath and ready for bus, more supplements. I wear dad outfit (beat up jeans, Yankees hat, T shirt) and bring him to front of building and wait on bus, usually arrives 7:40am.

·         7:45 am, I run up my stairs from lobby to roof - good quick free workout.

·         8:00 am, laundry started if necessary, check emails, read latest Yankees news, consider asking President when my free healthcare arrives.

·         8:30 am, core workout in apartment.  Read leading news headlines, sort for reading later.  Make plan for day.

·         9am or so, hit the gym.  

·         9:30 Starbucks, home protein shake and begin to write and read for next few hours.  I divvy up the time as necessary, but overall shoot for two hours writing and 4 hours reading per day - as suggested by Stephen King (he the man).

·         11:00 am I may also pop into publishers to see what up, pitch ideas, and strategize on book(s).

·          1ish, run, bike or swim (have three TRIs this year!).

·         3:00 pm I am organizing apartment and remainder of what I need to accomplish in anticipation of arrival of Alex around 3:45.

·         3:45 pm Once Alex arrives ability to write if over, so I must then do the brainless tasks - laundry, dinner, fresh direct, errands and such.  We also have after school programs most days of the week so I shuttle him to and fro.

·         6:30 pm I am making him dinner and we watch some Schoolhouse Rock (A noun is a person place or thing!)

·         7:30 bath, for Alex.  More supplements, pjs on and hit the couch.  I hit the computer for emailing.

·         9:30 pm Alex is asleep, I watch Entourage!

That's it.  Typical day.